People never forget the way you made them feel....

and this is where I tell the story of Michael and then equate it to a real life story of my own.

So last Saturday Gavin and I were all excited to go for a ride on the train. Our excitement level was high and here we are climbing on board "Thomas". The train was blue and Gavin thought it was the real thing. Our choices were to ride outside on the open car with bench seating and windows on the side or to sit inside in a real authentic old time rail car. We chose outside for the time being. There were only 2 other families on the train. It had just stopped raining. There were two boys with their grandparents and then another boy (around 4 years old) with his dad. The train gets ready to leave. All of a sudden two more passengers come running on board. A little boy and his dad. They get on the train and the little boy starts crying frantically. He is scared of the outside car and wants to sit inside. The father starts screaming at him "Michael, you have sat outside before". The little boy is clearly stressed out and crying harder saying outside hurts his ears. He is in meltdown mode and the father keeps saying over and over and over and over again? "Michael you have sat outside before!". This entire scene is so loud that every single person has their heads turned watching this instead of the train ride that has now started. It is so loud that the other 4 year old little boy has now covered his ears. The dad of Michael notices and then starts heckling Michael telling him "see, you are bothering everyone!" The father of the child covering his ears then brings his son over to Michael and says to him "It is ok, we were scared once too. Would you like for us to sit with you?" Michael stops crying and Gavin goes over and sits with the two boys.

That is the end of the story. Everything went well the rest of the ride. What do I think it wrong with this? Firstly, the father's job is to protect his child. He was clearly terrified. His father should be his protector, however, in this case was acting as a bully. How do you think that made this child feel? Secondly, to let this child think that his fears were "bothering others" is just heartbreaking. Lastly, the other father and child should not have been the heroes here. I am thinking that CLEARLY, it should have been the father. Oh, yeah and forget that all of us paid $14 for a train ride,not to watch a scene like this!

The first thing that came to mind when I was thinking about this over and over is the above quote. I first read it on facebook a while ago. My friend Julie, who was going through a divorce posted it. Appropriately, at the time, a group of girls I know were getting together for a little cook out with someone we all know who was visiting from out of state. They were visiting with this girl, whom, when I was going through invitro got mad at me and wrote an email that made its way to my desk by someone (still can not figure out who). The letter had some really mean things about me and most importantly that I would be pregnant with "retarded twins". Who says these things? Who remains friendly with someone who would say such a thing? Not me. I will never forget how that made me feel and how it makes me feel that none of these girls blinked an eye and are still friendly with this person. Perhaps they are afraid of the way she would make them feel if they got on her bad side? hmm... food for thought.

Moral of the story.....watch what you say to or about people. You never know how it will make them feel. Be kind...just be kind. I think I will work on doing so myself.